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I Killed Her Houseplants
Yes, houseplants. Plural. All 4 of them.
It’s March 10th, the recycling bin is full with broken down Amazon boxes, mismatched sets of tableware fill kitchen cabinets and our jeans are spattered with paint droplets. “Oh, sh*t these are stylish now.” Anyway, you’ve been there.
Then she says “let’s go get some plants” which to me sounds like an opportunity for a Sweetgreen salad and a Kombucha.
“Deal, let’s go”
I see that the florist is only .7 miles away on Google Maps and get nervous we won’t pass by my desires, but we do, and we use this snack to set our strategy.
- How much do we want to spend?
- How much time do we want to take care of these plants?
- How many should we get?
Business plans have been less thought-out than this napkin strategy. We agree to get 4:
And with the sound of the “remove card now” reminder, we became parents.
For those of you who don’t know, parenting plants is unlike children. I don’t have children so I can’t be entirely sure, BUT, these plants never disrupted a night of sleep, and I left them…
